You probably won’t know but I have suffered from recurring depression for most of my adult life. I have been lucky enough to meet amazing people on my journey to recovery. My GP who first diagnosed me was an amazing lady and unlike any Doctor I had ever met. Nothing was too much trouble for her and we tackled my treatment together. Dr Laura Jones I have a lot to thank you for. Sadly Laura left the medical profession due to the increasing paperwork taking priority over helping people and listening to them which was a loss both to me personally and to the medical profession as a whole.
Through Dr Laura I was introduced to Pippa the practice Counsellor. I refused to see her for a long time but when I did her skill helped me open up. I couldn’t talk to her at first and then told her that I had been writing poetry. She asked me to bring some along to our sessions and we used them to unlock my feelings. For in poetry, the rhyming verses that came to me like somebody else’s words, were my true feelings. I did not have a chance to edit my feelings with my mind…….they came straight from the heart like a purging of grief and regret. When I felt upset I wrote and wrote and wrote on anything and everything and at each therapy session we would use the poems as a basis for that day’s session. I now know that Pippa was a skilled counsellor who was very adept as using whatever that was given to her as a way in. I saw Pippa on and off for about eight years and I will be forever grateful to her that my first experience of counselling was such a positive one.
My first poems were personal and raw and dealt with strong emotions. As I gained control of the Depression with drugs and counselling my poems became rude, sometimes funny and a tirade about Tories and what is wrong in society. As time moved on I wrote further and ventured into performance poetry and I loved it . Time and again people would remark that my poems resonated with them and that was a great thrill to me.
When I first started writing poetry they were kept for me and my counsellor. I kept the scraps of paper in a book but often would find them too difficult to read again as they were painful and hurt.
Now my poems usually get written directly as a Facebook status so can share them with people.
When I had no voice, my poems spoke for me. My poems are now my voice, a way to tell people how feel and what I think. I shall be sharing some here on my blog over the coming weeks and hope they will help you or entertain you, hopefully both.
Words can cause so much harm but words can also heal.
Lots of Love