Sorry not to have been active these past few weeks but I’ve been busy. I have had appointments to deal with. Four of these appointments were with Death himself and to say that I am reeling would be an understatement. Death has been a frequent visitor over the past few months and he has not spoken in capital letters or rode a horse called Binky. Death has visited and taken his toll on my life through visiting friends and family and even my beloved cats.

His first visit of the year came in April, the 27th to be precise ,exactly a month before his victims 47th Birthday. She had been told of his imminent visit some two weeks previously having been told she only had weeks to live. My friend Tina who died had been a prolific self harmer all her life and had numerous suicide attempts. She had flirted with Death on a regular basis but when he accepted the invitation on that day in April, she was not pleased to see him.

Death then decided to give me a break until he raised his head at the beginning of September when my mother, who had been battling with severe illness for five years, was told that there was no more they could do for her and she was placed under palliative care. Death had picked on the wrong woman. Mum declared that she would fight Death all the way and she remained positive despite Death’s looming shadow. But Death would not take no for an answer. First he invaded my Mums dreams and prevented her sleeping. Then he made her breathing poor. Then the fluid built up and Mum became tired. But still she fought. She defied death even going out with her sisters and brother as she did every Saturday. She defied him she spat in his face but he was relentless. So it came to pass that my Mum realised fighting was no good and she finally succumbed to Death on Saturday 17th September. Death was kind, he took Mum quietly and peacefully in the house that had been our home for 41 years surrounded by her family. As Death took my Mums spirit out of her body I realised that she was free at last.

Death had been busy. But Death was not finished yet. After my Mum died I became aware that my family was now my Partner Sarah and our seven cats Gumpy, Emmy, Garfield, Omins,Katie, Shadow and Gizmo. But Death wanted to hit right at the heart of my family. Gump our 17 and a half year old cat died of old age on the Thursday and the following Monday we had to put Emmy to sleep as she had developed breathing problems.

So it’s been tough and grief laiden and I hope DEATH and Binky will now rest a while.







I’m Back!!!


So here I am! It’s over a year since I updated my blog and what a year it’s been. I started my journey through grief at the loss of my Mum. My darling girl had a life changing operation. We lost two of our beloved cats and gained another and we got married. I also started my Masters in Clinical Counselling, joined the Labour Party, wrote some poetry, did some Standup and set up the Rhyl Comedy Club. I re discovered this blog this morning and enjoyed reading some of my past entries. I have been away too long so I have decided to make use of it and chart my ongoing development throughout this year, it is 2.53am and this is just a bookmark reminder to keep on top of the blog and contribute something weekly to my memory bank. It has been interesting to read past posts and this will be another way of processing so until later adieu xIMG_2026